I wrote a version of this as a FB post but decided that this content should live here. It’s a beautifully tender Xmas 2024 post about the gifts of love, care and compassion
During Thanksgiving dinner last month cabbage patch kids came up. We were laughing at how bonkers parents were going trying to buy them for their kids back in the 80s. I mentioned my little sister had one and ced’s younger sister mentioned she had a few. Then i causally said “well, I was a teenager so I wasn’t interested in them”. Ced quickly responded, “No you weren’t. We were 11”. His statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I was both triggered and shook that my memory of that time period was so blurry. I was being sexually abused by my father and I there are just horrible moments during my childhood that my mind protects me from. I quickly realized that in 1982, I was pregnant at age 11 and had to travel to NY for a 2nd term abortion instead of playing with cabbage patch dolls and toys like other kids my age. Ced saw my face turn ashen as I did the mental math and he texted to apologize. My moment of emotional distress faded quickly and I kinda of forgot about the whole thing. Fast forward to Christmas morning, my sweet family presented me with this box.
I told them I didn’t want anything for Xmas but am so deeply touched and little 11 year old girl in me (Monique) smiled with delight when she saw a cabbage patch kid inside!!! I thanked Ced for being so sweet and thoughtful. The kids thought they were gifting it to me because I never got one, which is partially true but he knew Monique deserved to be treated like the innocent girlchild that she was during the cabbage patch kids era. This is caring for survivors. This is my dear, dear family seeing me not just as someone who is a giver of care and joy as a mother but who also see me as someone who deserves to receive care and joy. This is a Xmas (gift) that I will hold near and dear for the rest of my life. This is healing. 🎁
P.s. My CPK is used and didn’t have his “birth certificate” so we named him the blackest name possible: Plessy Redd
Plessy, because he is light skinned like Homer Plessy and Redd, because he’s a redhead!
